Focus on What You Want

If you focused on what you want and how you’re going to get there, instead of what you don’t have… where would you be?

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One thing an athlete does not do, is focus on what they are not. 

When an athlete sets out to compete, there’s a few things they need to do.

Yes, they need to train. They need to ensure they receive adequate rest and nutrition.

And their goal is important. But its only a target; an objective.

One thing an athlete does not do, is focus on what they are not. They don’t focus on what they don’t yet have.
Sure, they don’t have the trophy yet but they don’t focus on not having it.

They focus on how they’re going to get it. They focus on what they need to get there.
They don’t waste their time on something that will not get them further towards their goal.

So why do we do it? You say we’re not athletes.

But our culture is full of racing references.

We say, “I must finish the race” or “when my race is done…”; and then there’s that one that says “Life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon,” or something like that.

And how much of your day do you spend racing from one task to another; or one deadline to another? If you’re racing anywhere and you think you’re not an athlete then I think we need to rethink that a little bit.

We do that one thing that athletes don’t. We focus on what we don’t have. It becomes a loop, a habit and then new year’s eve comes around and we make all those resolutions and we say, “One day… that will be me.”

And then nothing happens.

Well, okay we slip back into looping about what we don’t have and hoping that “One day… that will be me.”
Well it’s not going to be you one day, unless you do something about it, today.

Do something.

Do something you can measure. Do something you can see progress in.

When my beloved and I lived in the middle east, I was working ten hours a day and six days a week. I had very little time for myself; but I had a half-hour commute in and a half hour commute home. And I used that hour every day to listen to Audiobooks.

In 2 years I listened to 162 Audiobooks and countless podcasts and TED talks. Those audio productions were more than interesting listens; they were a major source of inspiration for me.

They helped me arrive here with you, now. They helped me focus on what I wanted and – more importantly - how I might get there.

Do something.

Do something you can measure.

Do something you can see progress in. 

So when your mind starts to whine about things you don’t have, look at what you do have and build on that.

A little while ago I released a VLOG about going beyond your castle walls, when those walls have become your prison. I’ll give you the link in the comments below. I had my castle. My walls were, in short, abject terror about making a new start and branching out anew.

So I ventured out of my castle, left my prison behind. I’m still terrified. Okay, maybe not so terrified any more because… well at least I don’t have to run anywhere! God knows, I’m not an athlete.

But what if I wanted to become an athlete? Once upon a very naïve time ago I thought I might run the Dubai Marathon. And I wanted to do it barefoot, of course. (Why barefoot? Read this blogpost and you’ll start to get an idea).

That day never came.

But what if I wanted it to?

What if I wanted to charge barefoot through the desert?

I think I’d start training, exercising, building up strength and endurance. I’d find a coach, an accountability partner in the form of a fellow runner. I’d join forums and I’d do research. I might even give up chocolate. Nah… probably not.

I’d look at what strengths I already have. I’d build on them to develop new strengths. And those would be called “new strengths,” not strengths I “don’t’ have.”

But I wouldn’t focus on being stuck. I wouldn’t focus on the kilo’s I need to shed. I’d focus on whatever needs to be done to get me to where I need to be.

And if I didn’t know what that was… I’d talk to somebody who does.

So when your mind starts to whine about things you don’t have, look at what you do have and build on that.

Start.

Start somewhere.

It doesn’t have to be a big, major step or anything radical that turns your world upside down and casts your world and loved ones into turmoil. You’re not rebuilding the pyramids. You’re working on you.

It’s a small change. It’s telling yourself that you’ll get ripped instead of getting ripped off; it’s telling yourself a better lie (See link below); telling yourself that you’re On Purpose instead of just busy or hectic or any one of those Gods-awful euphemisms we employ to gloss over the fact that we haven’t, really, achieved anything lately.

It’s telling yourself that yes, that new TV series is seriously off the charts amazing but one hour less of TV gives you one hour more to work on you.

If you need to get in shape to run your marathon, whatever that means to you, then don’t wallow in how many kilo’s you need to shed. Don’t wallow in your lack, or your stuck-ness. Focus on the journey and how you’re going to get that trophy or make those changes.

If you can race from deadline to deadline, then you already have the raw talent to get what you want out of life.

Do something today, no matter how small, but do something today towards running that marathon, towards getting what you want.

And then… go and get it. 

Start.

Start somewhere.

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I’m a life coach and a hypnotherapist. I’ve been where you are. I can help you get to where you want to be.

Disclaimer

TIR may offer benefits for many emotional, psychological, and spiritual concerns. It is NOT a substitute for medical diagnosis, drug therapy, surgery, radiation, or other conventional medical interventions or mental health assistance.

Proper medical exams and diagnostic evaluations by your physician or other mental health professionals are an important aspect for wellbeing. TIR is strictly limited to addressing the emotional charge of Traumatic Incidents. If in doubt, please consult your medical professional.