Most conversations are an exchange of appropriate responses.
We don’t really connect.
In every moment we have a choice. In that moment, do we react… or do we create?
The only difference between “react” and “create” is the second “e” which is kind of left hanging.
I had to write them down just to be sure for myself. What’s that “e”? Does it even matter?
I think it does.
I think that extra “e” stands for “emotion.” And that’s the key.
In our everyday interactions we have developed a system of shortcuts. That system of shortcuts allows us to deliver “appropriate” responses.
We listen to other people but we never really hear them. We listen for the trigger that tells us when to deliver that “appropriate” response.
Most conversations are an exchange of appropriate responses. We don’t really connect.
We don’t really hear.
I think we’re scared to show our emotions because to do that can put you in a vulnerable place.
We leave that extra “e” hanging. We keep it in reserve. We hold it back. Because to show emotion is to show our weakness, our vulnerability, our human-ness.
Yet, isn’t that extra “e”, that vulnerability, that fragility, that heart-thing, the very thing that connects us? Is connection made by being your true, authentic self?
Aren’t our shared, broken experiences the things that keep us together? If we could weave those cracks of vulnerability into a loom, could we not knit a blanket of shared experiences that unites us, that comforts us, because we all sleep under that same blanket; that same blanket of vulnerability?
Leonard Cohen is credited with “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” It’s true, isn’t it?
No, you’re not wearing your heart on your sleeve. You’re not playing the victim card. You have the power to choose your emotion.
And if you choose wisely what to show, you have the power to create an exchange that leaves all parties lifted and empowered.
If you saw a child in need of a hug; if you saw an old man or lady in need of carrying bags; if an animal looked to you for a sore leg; or even if you saw your worst enemy torn and broken by the loss of his loved ones, would you step up, even in some small way?
You have the power to choose your emotion.
It is the nature of love to create… not to react.
I believe you would. I believe your authentic, loving self would.
That part of you wants to live, wants to thrive, wants to make a difference, wants to make a change, wants to leave a legacy, wants to be better.
We have a choice in every moment. We can react with anger or resentment or hate or fear.
What we’re really saying in those moments is we need love. Did you know that your mind doesn’t know the difference between giving and receiving love? When you hug somebody, yes, you’re being hugged back, but its experienced the same whether they initiated it or you initiated it.
And so we need to give love. We need to make the conscious choice to give love, compassion, hope, empathy, even if its just carrying bags or giving a smile.
Love, that majestic, indefinable, wonderful essence that fills us and drives us all, is our very nature. And it is the nature of love to create… not to react.
It is the nature of Love to make better that which we think was worse. It is the nature of love… the essence of love that drives us to want to be better and to strive to be that which is better… A higher version of ourselves today than yesterday.
But where does it start?
When does it start?
How do you start to break through the blocks that hold you back?
You’ve built walls around you to protect yourself from harm. But if you look closely you’ll see that those walls are made from all your insecurities; all the things you wished you had received but didn’t.
Maybe you already know this. Maybe you just don’t know where to start.
I can relate. I’ve been there. I still go there. In my grumpiest moments I shut down, go inwards. I withdraw.
The key, I have found, to getting unstuck; getting out of the grump, is to connect, to give and show love. Even if its just joking around with a stranger in a queue.
And I can help.
Because it starts with you.
It starts now.
It starts with a small act.
It starts with bringing food for your cousin who’s just lost his best friend. It starts with visiting Ouma who’s just lost the love of her life. It starts with thanking your ma for always picking up your socks and washing and ironing. It starts with that teacher who taught you more about yourself than Deepak Chopra. It starts with the car guard who made sure you didn’t bump the rolls Royce parked behind you.
It starts now.
It starts with a small act.
If you’re still battling with being your authentic self; being that true, vulnerable you; maybe you’re still stuck behind the walls you’ve built; or if you just don’t know where to start, I can help.
I’m a life coach and a hypnotherapist. I’ve been where you are. I can help you get to where you want to be.